Wednesday, January 25, 2012

No longer a hardcore casual, just casual

So something dawned on my yesterday.
I finally had an evening free to game all the SWTOR I could want. Instead I saw a documentary with Mrs Dwism, played for an hour, then went to bed early.

There where a time, where I'd log on when i got home from work, scan the AH, do dailies, then prep for raid (then -sometimes- eat dinner).

I am the only 'main' left in my SWTOR guild that have not reached 50. I say 'main' because we have some members who rolled alts on our servers to hang out with us, when their Empire mains, are not demanding their attention. Hell, Mr. Calli has a main at level 50 and 3 alts who are closing in on my level 40 main.

Part of this is because I have a 6 month old child, but she goes to sleep at 7 at the latest, so that really should not interfere with evening gaming/raiding.
Another part is that, I think (hindsight and all that) that the gruel grinding of hard mode Lich king, and the following 8 months of no content to raid, killed my last love of raiding. Sure I can watch strat videos of fireland (and I still do, even though it's been.. oh boy 6 months, since I had an active wow account), and miss raiding. But I doubt I'd find time to clear anything *for* raiding. Even if I still believe that I'd still enjoy the actual raids in themselves, but it's been so long I don't really remember.

I stress to underline that no part of this, has anything to do with the game I am playing atm. Leveling in SWTOR is way more fun, than in WoW. Only time I ever got a bit tired of it, was when I hit 36'ish and I felt I had to level 2 levels up before I could continue on my class quests, and the story had JUST gotten to such a exciting point (again). As a matter of fact I try and postpone my class quests on each planet to as late as possible, so I can do those in one go. Nothing kills story more than having another exciting storyline come and distract you.

What I fear has happened
I fear, that I have outgrown gaming. I truly am afraid of that. So much of my identity is around me playing games in my free time. Hell, the reason I have the job I have, is because I play so many games, and know so much about games. I haven't touched my xbox since two hours right after I got Batman Arkham City home, and before that, not once in 4 months.
I dunno what I'd do, if I turn into someone who comes home from work, cleans a bit up, starts dinner and then spends the evening in front of the television, repeating the "whats on tonight" line. Night after night after night. That sounds very close to my version of hell.
Maybe it's the whole, 'life has kindda changed, your a dad' - thing. Maybe its because i'm turning 30. I'm not sure what the illness is, I just know what the symptoms are. And this patient, does not like what he is witnessing. I'm getting old
I fear that one day, I'll be in a permanent state of this:

I really hope, that when my babygirl gets to that age, when she wants to play with me, I'll have outgrown this thing, and be all like  

"barbie-adventure dressup???? I've completed it TWICE, but for you my love, i'll play it again".

But for now, I'll just take a slight step back, log in when I feel like playing, and cross my fingers that I won't fall completly out of love with gaming. Because right now, the only thing that is keeping me playing anything, is the fantastic people in my guild, and the story of Star Wars The Old Republic.

I did it, made this whole post w/o using the "I'm getting to old for this... sh"


  1. I'm 39.5 years old and have three boys, ages 16, 12, and 9. I'm still a big gamer, but the things that interest me have changed over time. Different aspects of gaming interest me and bore me as a genre evolves.

    One of the biggest things I notice though is that I can't play with my kids. At least, not with any kind of seriousness. TCGs like Magic the Gathering, and board games like Settlers of Catan, are pretty boring. The munchkins just don't have the level of strategy that I'm used to.

    I've also completely turned the Playstation over to the kids. Games when I was growing up were all about not dying, so I've developed a serious aversion to death. However, today's games mostly don't care how many times you die. Just pop back up and try again. So my kids don't even try any strategy other than brute force, killing as many as you can, so when you respawn, there are less you need to kill to move forward. I can not play with them. I spend most of the time /facepalm-ing.

    Yet, after all this growth and evolution of myself and the gaming industry, I'm still a die hard gamer. Maybe I'll reevaluate after another decade of games go by.

  2. I'm with ya on this one Copernicus, I am 44 with an 8 year old son, and an 8 month old son. I do not play video games with my 8 year old because , like me, he is way to competitive and he loses it when he loses. I have tried to let him win but then I am yawning through the whole thing. Best I can do is help him with baseball in the spring and summer. Dwism, I wouldn't worry to much about gaming, everything loses its shine, you will move on and find other things to do. But I doubt it will involve sitting in front of a tv like a zombie.

  3. Thank you both. Luckily the end of chapter two for the Jedi Knight, combined with a beta for D3 has helped :)
    I think it is just me having to get used to the fact that I won't be spending 6 nights a week raiding/levelling/farming but instead spending 2-3 nights a week playing dungeons. It hurts to have to realise that raiding for me, seems to be a thing of the past now. I love raiding, I love the social aspekt, the teamwork. I love it.

    Such is life. I don't go drinking 4 nights a week anymore either, like I did in college, and I don't miss that anymore either